I never dreamt I’d be a photographer. Especially not in Modesto.
It was always artist, writer, or linguist. Yet, my entire existence here in the Central Valley has been defined by this profession.
I moved down to Modesto after I got married and was determined to leave after a couple of years. I was without friends. And without family. I began work in the valley as a writer for the Tracy Press and then decided that the commute and working conditions didn’t fit my personality. I would have died of road rage.
I worked at La Parrilla restaurant and began photography on the side. I had photographed my sister Mia’s wedding and was encouraged by the results. In retrospect, I realize that a waiter makes an excellent wedding photographer. They can balance well, have a polite tone, multi-task well, remember details, are service oriented, work quickly, try to anticipate the needs of the client, and do this with a smile.
Since my days at La Parrilla I’ve photographed approximately 450 couples here in the Central Valley. My philosophy on photography shifted from that of a wedding photographer to that of a photographer that photographs people. When people ask how I learned photography, my response has always been “trial and error.” My early clients might be interested to know that I would love to go back and photograph their weddings again now that I have more knowledge. I still feel guilty that I could have done a better job.
The couple of years I planned on spending in Modesto turned into eleven.
Friendly faces are now everywhere. I can’t go out to a local restaurant without seeing a bride or groom. In fact, several nights ago I went out to eat at Sushi Garden and counted 4 clients in the restaurant. I can’t go to the store without seeing a senior whose picture I’ve taken. On a daily basis, seeing the faces of my clients has made Modesto feel more like home. More like family.
I am the proud owner of a photography studio in Roseburg Square. I have two employees that are fun to be with and enjoy their jobs. I couldn’t ask for a better scenario. We are blessed with more work than we can handle, even in a down economy when you wouldn’t expect customers to be calling. And especially with the prevailing mentality that anyone can shoot good pictures as long as they have a good camera.
Four years ago, I contracted a respiratory problem. This mystery disease kept me coughing all through the night so that I rarely slept. For a solid year, my doctor gave me cough syrup with codeine so that I could sleep at night. When the cough didn’t go away I was referred to another doctor who gave me my first chest x-ray. I was diagnosed with bronchitis and then put on antibiotics. The next couple of years were progressively worse with numerous visits to local allergists, a visit with an ENT, a pulmonologist and acupuncturist. They all had differing diagnosis but the one constant was pharmaceuticals. The worst treatment was antibiotics and steroids. At one point I was taking six different medications. My medicine bill sometimes reached $600 a month. I know the employees at the Walgreens pharmacy on McHenry on a first name basis.
Last year I was hospitalized for eight days at Memorial Hospital because I couldn’t breathe. They didn’t know what was wrong with me and I ended up voluntarily discharging myself. Frustrated with the lack of progress here locally, I went to UCSF and met with an ENT there. He suggested sinus surgery and that was performed last year. A couple of months after the surgery, I went right back to the super congestion and difficulty breathing. It’s been four years now and my local pulmonologist (who was convinced I had asthma) referred me to Stanford. My experience with Stanford has been quite different. In fact, my ENT found mistakes made during my procedure at UCSF. My doctor thinks I have a fungal infection. He also believes that the air pollution here in the valley is one of the triggers for my respiratory problems. He doesn’t believe I’ll get better unless I leave the area. I have tried everything from natural herbs to acupuncture to prednisone. Nothing has worked.
In their 2010 annual report, The National Lung Association listed seven of the valley’s cities in the top 25 most ozone-polluted cities. Bakersfield, Fresno, Visalia, Sacramento, Merced, Modesto and Chico all made the list. I have worked in these cities religiously for the past eleven years. I have no allergies to anything organic. There are inorganic pollutants that form a powerful cocktail that affect my respiratory system. According to the lung association, respiratory problems will become a real threat for valley residents in the upcoming years.
It’s been four long years of struggling with respiratory problems and sleepless nights. I love my clients and have done everything to stay here in Modesto. But I can’t stay here any longer. My ENT at Stanford is sure that if I’m to breathe again and become healthy, I have to leave my studio and the area. I don’t want to leave my studio. And I don’t want to leave my clients. If there were any other way, I would stay here in the place I call home.
As of December 31, 2010 the studio will be closed. We will stop taking shoots as of December 1st of this year. This will give us the next several weeks to handle existing orders and to finalize all projects we’ve been working on. All clients will be able to purchase their files and brides and grooms (who have not used their print/album credit) will receive their digital files at no cost. All files/negatives will be given with a signed copyright release that will enable clients to order their own prints, design their own online albums and print their images in any form they see fit.
I will still work as a photographer and continue to take jobs here in the valley including weddings and select other jobs depending on the assignment.
I appreciate all the support that my clients have given my employees and me the last eleven years. I believe our relationships have superseded that of professional and client. At weddings I always felt like an invited guest and would usually end up receiving a good-bye kiss from the mother of the bride. I can’t put into words the feelings I have for all of you, my subjects. I feel that I shared a piece of myself with each of you during our photo sessions. And I will be leaving behind tiny pieces of myself everywhere. It’s been breaking my heart the last couple of days to hear people say that they can’t wait for me to photograph them in the future, only to know that I won’t be.
A dream I never knew I wanted was fulfilled in a place I never wanted to be. That dream would have never been realized, and Modesto would have never been my home without all of you.